Today's relationships are not the same and that's probably for the best. But with contemporary love comes contemporary issues. As life becomes faster, technology progresses, and priorities change, so do couples' problems.
A 2025 research by psychologist Albert Oduwole, in the American Journal of Psychology, ventured to understand what's actually hurting relationships today. Having interviewed more than 200 adults and gone deep with 12 couples, he found four big dangers to relationships today and what we can do about them.
1. Phone Addiction Is Replacing Real Connection
Let’s face it: most of us are glued to our phones. Whether it’s scrolling Instagram, replying to work emails, or binge-watching TikToks, screen time is stealing away quality couple time.
A Pew Research study revealed that over half of adults have experienced “phubbing” when a partner ignores them by being glued to their phone. And it’s not just young couples under 30; older pairs are feeling the disconnect too.
- “I was pouring my heart out about a work problem, and he was scrolling through Twitter,” one woman shared in Oduwole’s study.
- “It’s like I’m invisible,” another said.
This lack of attention leads to lower satisfaction, emotional distance, and even fights. Social media can spark jealousy, too think about liking someone’s post, chatting with exes, or oversharing relationship drama online.
The Cure: Carve out at least an hour of "tech-free" time each night. No phones. No scrolling. Just the two of you reconnecting, chatting, laughing, and being together.
2. Conflicting Beliefs Can Shatter the Bond
We all want that one person who "gets" us. And when it involves core belief such as politics, religion, gender roles, or social justice those differences can make for deep respect, or for daily tension.
In a 2024 poll conducted by The Matchmaking Company, 46% of singles indicated they would not date someone who held opposing political beliefs, and 82% of Democrats indicated political compatibility as a must. Gen Z? One in ten would leave a date instantly if there were a values disconnect.
A few couples in Oduwole's study adapted by steering clear of hot-button issues and by concentrating on areas of interest. Others, however, felt silenced or disconnected.
The Fix: Discuss your opinions early. Can you accept one another's opinions? Can you be respectfully disagreeable? If you can't, it may be time to reconsider your future together.
3. Busy Lives Are Slaying Romance
Work stress, long commutes, and overfilled calendars are relegating love to the backseat. In the pursuit of success, many couples are paying the price for quality time, emotional availability, and intimacy.
One man conceded, "After a long day at work, I vent or shut down and that affects her, even if I don't intend to."
Another revealed, "We had weekly date nights. Now it's once every few months. Something always comes up."
Couples, Oduwole says, require a minimum of 5 hours of dedicated time together per week in order to remain emotionally in tune with each other. That's without telephones, bills, or laundry just connection.
The Fix: Make time as you would an appointment. Whether it's a stroll, a meal, or simply wind-down talk before bed, guard those moments. They are more important than you realize.
4. Unhealed Childhood Wounds Can Haunt Love
Our history influences our now particularly in relationships. If you had a childhood of neglect, abandonment, or emotional abuse, it can manifest as anxiety, overattaching, or becoming closed down emotionally as an adult.
In Oduwole's study, individuals with difficult upbringings tended to report lower levels of relationship satisfaction.
- "I always worry that my partner is going to leave me," one woman explained. "It makes me become controlling, even though I don't want to."
Another audience member chimed in, "In my household, issues weren't brought up. We simply kept them bottled up. That's what I still do."
The Fix: Knowing is strong. Identifying your patterns is step number one. Therapy, honest talk, and healing of the heart can transform old wounds into individual growth.
Final Thoughts: Modern Love Requires Modern Effort
Today, relationships are accompanied by new obstacles but the recipe for enduring love has remained unchanged. Emotional intimacy, respect, open communication, and spending quality time together remain the pillars of a healthy relationship.
With conscious effort, tech boundaries, mutual respect, and being willing to learn together, today's couples can survive and thrive.