Having children is one of life's greatest achievements but how does it actually affect romance and love? Most couples undergo significant lifestyle and emotional shifts after they have a child, and scientists have long been arguing over whether having kids makes romantic relationships more robust or tested to the limit.
Certain research indicates that having a child together can unify couples by providing a common goal and profound connection. On the contrary, inability to have children or infertility can put an enormous strain on a relationship that can sometimes result in separation.
But studies also found that parenthood does not necessarily result in "happily ever after." Numerous couples experience a decrease in relationship satisfaction following parenthood. The causes are usually common sleep deprivation, perpetual tiredness, financial stress, and the attempt to balance work and family obligations. But outcomes were found to be inconsistent and sometimes differ across cultures.
A Global Study on Parenthood and Romantic Love
To better understand, researchers have recently undertaken one of the biggest cross-cultural studies on love and parenthood. The study published in Human Nature on October 24, 2025, titled "Is Family Size Related to Love? Data from 25 Countries" examined the impact of having children on love between partners.
It was conducted by Agnieszka Eliasewicz and her team at Poland's University of Wrocław with the help of more than 3,100 participants from 25 nations, such as Australia, India, Brazil, Belgium, Romania, and Vietnam.
The majority were married (82%), and the rest were engaged (18%). Each of the volunteers filled out questionnaires in their own language, one of which was the popular Sternberg Triangular Love Scale, designed to quantify three important components of romantic love intimacy, passion, and commitment. They indicated their number of children and fundamental personal information like age.
What the Study Found
The research contrasted 699 childless adults with 2,488 parents. Undergraduate students used high-level statistical models to compare love scores in terms of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
The findings were remarkable:
- Parents in all cultures reported lower aggregate romantic love than childless couples.
- Intimacy and passion were both significantly lower among parents.
- Commitment was unchanged, whether or not the couple had children.
- Ironically, having more kids didn't make the difference worse or better the trend remained the same.
Parenthood Can Test Romance
This big global study makes it clear having kids can make romantic love, especially passion and intimacy, decline, although commitment tends to remain strong.
Experts opine that the decline in emotional intimacy might be a result of stress, fatigue, and economic pressure that go hand in hand with childcare. With escalating responsibilities, couples might have less time for one another, losing emotional bond and physical touch.
But this doesn't have to be the case for romance after having children. The research emphasizes the need to proactively foster love and intimacy even in the midst of the hectic parenting years. Routine communication, quality time spent together, and emotional support can aid couples in maintaining their flame while establishing a solid family foundation.
Final Thoughts
Parenthood redefines life in a thousand lovely ways but also presents difficulties that might strain even the most robust relationship. If couples can acknowledge these consequences and make a deliberate attempt to remain together, they can manage love and family life better.