16 Signs the Narcissist is Getting Aggressive


The idea that narcissism is a fixed personality trait that can develop into a disorder assumes people are either narcissistic or they’re not. Maybe you've met someone who seems confident, charming, and even a bit charismatic. Things seem fine until one day, out of nowhere, this person turns on you and starts making offensive comments. Apparently, by not complimenting them enough, you’ve triggered them. You’re hurt and also puzzled. How could you have missed the signs that this person wasn’t as wonderful as you thought? Could they have been a narcissist hiding behind a friendly face?


Though all of this feels troubling, you decide to give them another chance. Sure enough, the next time you meet, the person seems significantly calmer. You wonder if you misread them due to a brief misunderstanding.


The Fluctuating Nature of Narcissism

Although narcissism is typically seen as a consistent personality trait, there is reason to view it as a quality that can change over time, even daily. According to researchers Radoslaw Rogoza and colleagues from the University of Economics and Human Science in Warsaw (2024), narcissism can be “a dynamic process” when viewed as a “state” that rises and falls based on circumstances. This underlying set of factors could explain why your new acquaintance’s behavior seemed so unpredictable.


Previous research cited by the Polish authors describes narcissism as an "if-then" concept driven by whether the person senses a threat. The confident form of narcissism emerges as self-promotion, “if there’s no threat to the inflated self-image.” But if a threat appears, insecure or defensive narcissism emerges, and “the response shifts to self promotion at all costs” (p. 2). This “signals,” the authors suggest, a sense of danger prompting the narcissistic person to go into attack mode to protect a fragile sense of self.


While past researchers agree that narcissism’s state like variations deserve study, they often missed the hostility aspect, according to Rogoza and colleagues. To address this gap, the authors set out to develop and test a tool that could capture the daily, and even momentary, shifts in the hostile side of narcissism.


The Narcissistic Aggression Scale (NAS)

Starting with a previously created set of 30 words intended to capture aggression as part of narcissism, Rogoza and his team conducted a series of six online studies to refine and validate their new NAS. Across three of these studies, the authors pre registered their hypotheses, and all their data was submitted to the Open Science Framework for full transparency.


Since they made the NAS publicly available, you can test yourself on these 16 items, which emerged from the original 30 based on thorough statistical analysis:


Review each word below and rate how much it describes you from 1 (not at all) to 7 (very much):


  1. Aggressive
  2. Irritated
  3. Scheming
  4. Insulting
  5. Exploitative
  6. Deceptive
  7. Dishonest
  8. Spiteful
  9. Degrading
  10. Offensive
  11. Cruel
  12. Critical
  13. Untrustworthy
  14. Manipulative
  15. Deteriorating
  16. Conceited


To test stability over time, the NAS was administered twice, two months apart. As expected, overall NAS scores remained stable over time, as did scores on standard measures of confident and insecure narcissism.


To explore day to day changes in narcissism, the researchers developed a version of their measure that could be administered throughout the day, asking participants to rate themselves “at this moment.”


The 12 terms in this experience sampling measure included items 1, 8, 13, and 15 from the NAS, four confident narcissism descriptors (brilliant, grand, strong, majestic), and four from an insecure narcissism scale (ignored, resentful, misunderstood, and neglected). In this final study, the researchers also measured mood (e.g., motivated, embarrassed), empathy (e.g., kind), and self-esteem (e.g., “I am satisfied with myself”). Participants rated themselves on these words using a visual scale from 0 (not at all) to 100 (very much).


As the daily data showed, as predicted, within-person daily shifts in narcissistic aggression aligned with changes in mood and self esteem. Aggressive narcissism scores were negatively linked to empathy, mood, and self-esteem, meaning the lower these scores were, the higher the empathy.


Though these findings largely support the need to track narcissistic hostility over time, one result about the confident versus insecure narcissism measures did not. People high in insecure narcissism tended not to change across time and situations, a finding the authors believe aligns with clinical evidence. In daily life, this means that people high in confident narcissism, like the individual who seemed to turn on you, take perceived threats to their inflated self-image as cues to switch on their aggression. It’s best to avoid confronting an aggressive narcissist, especially when they feel threatened.



How to Use the NAS

It may be insightful for you to assess yourself daily on both the full NAS and the four items used in the experience sampling method in the Rogoza study. Are there times when you feel tempted to lash out at someone who has deflated your ego? Rating yourself on these items could give you valuable insights into any tendencies to react with anger when your pride feels bruised.


Applying the scale to others can also be enlightening. Before someone high in narcissism targets you, see if you can spot anything in their language that suggests they might relate to some of the NAS items when talking about others. Statements like “I can’t wait to get back at” someone they feel wronged by could be a telling sign.


You can also gain a better understanding of what drives narcissistic people to act in ways that seem erratic. If it’s someone you like or want to like, try using your empathy to realize they may not enjoy feeling the way they do. Although the Polish study didn’t link specific life events with shifts in NAS scores, future research might explore this, given the ease of administering this scale.

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